Wake Up Breakfast
You wake up to an alarm set to the Lion King theme song. You thrust open the curtains. The warm, dappled morning light dances across your face as you suck in 6 sweet liters of kick-today’s-ass through your perfectly clear sinuses.
You wonder, “What shall I have for breakfast, Me?” And the answer hits you like an intermediate Muay Thai fighter’s sloppy kick to the solar plexus… because your breakfast to-be is shaped like a remote and as hard as properly cured weather sealant.
It’s time for America’s iconic McMuffin to reclaim its rightful place in your stomach.
It’s time to wake up breakfast with fresh-cracked eggs at McDonald’s y’all.
And just in case you’ve ever stared at a McMuffin’s cylindrical egg wondering what kind of twisted, dystopian assembly line produced it… we’re pleased to provide you a reason to rein in your 21st century PTSD, because the answer is surprisingly reassuring.